Tuesday, July 29, 2008

$.25 Hotdog Night!

Last night was one of my favorite summer events in B-Town. Three years ago I was introduced to $.25 Hotdog Night at Centennial Field, home of Vermont’s minor league baseball team, the Lake Monsters (formerly known as the Vermont Expos). At the time, I hadn’t eaten a hotdog for somewhere around 14 years (or whenever it was that I learned what they were actually made of). Fortunately, a baseball game is the perfect place to put such things aside. And, for that evening, that is exactly what I did by eating my fair share of wieners. Since then, $.25 Hotdog Night has become an annual outing and the one night a year that I happily eat hotdogs for dinner.

Oh, and did I mention the view...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

TBD

Vietnam. It’s where I’m headed to next. People are naturally asking me why I chose Vietnam. My response is very simple: Why not Vietnam?

I am 30 years old. I rent. I have no car. No pets. No boyfriends. No kids. No debt! I do have a job that I love and hate in the very same moment. And, I do own a geranium, which does hold a miniscule of sentimental value since it was stolen from a cheating ex-boyfriend as an act of pure, malicious, liberating revenge. As much as I love and hate my job and as much as I enjoy being sent into nostalgic bliss at the sight of my “love plant,” it’s just not enough.

So, what is enough? And, why do I think I’ll find it in Vietnam?

Honestly, I don’t really know.

What I do know is that I want to live a life that I can look back on and be proud that I lived it well and to the fullest, that I took advantage of the unique opportunities I was presented and that I at least tried to make a difference and to leave the world just a little bit better. Wherever I am, I want to know without reason that that is exactly where I belong, and whomever I’m with is exactly whose arms I need to be in.

I know that everyone has choices to make, whether they end up as good or bad choices is irrelevant. The important part is living with intention, being conscious of the possible consequences of each decision and being willing to live with those consequences. I’m making this choice because I don’ want to ever wonder, what if? I’m at peace with stepping to the edge of the unknown and making the choice to leap. Now whether or not I soar or even land on both feet, well, that is yet to be determined.

Underworld, by Don DeLillo

“…In school they tell him sometimes to stop looking out the window. This teacher or that teacher. The answer is not out there, they tell him. And he always wants to say that’s exactly where the answer is. Some people look out the window, others eat their books.”